Heart Ache

     It's been almost a year to the exact date of when God spoke to mine and Josh's hearts concerning the mission field. We all want to know our life's purpose. I sometimes think that God doesn't reveal it to us in it's entirety at once, because not only would we grow impatient... it would overwhelm us. He is super smart you know.

     Life has been going great for our family. We've been working at our jobs, and homeschooling, and Natalie's been dancing, and we've even gotten one of our cats back that we gave away. (Don't let the run on sentence get to you. I like it.) Yes, we got one back. The fellow that was just a wee one when we parted is now back with us.:) All of these things make for a comfortable life.
      Let me tell you this...I am very happy. I have no complaints about my life. I am blessed so very much. I am taking it all in and enjoying what I have...I'm enjoying this life.
     The thing is.....

            "I feel like I'm dying."  I know what God has for my life. Maybe not all of it, but a portion. My heart aches and yearns so much to reach the point in the path that He has shown me. Sometimes, I want to scream or cry out!!! It's embedded inside of me. All of His love is embedded inside of me for these orphan and poor children who do not know they are loved, and the only opportunity for them to know love is me, or my husband, or my daughter. I cannot explain it all except that God has placed this yearning in my heart.
       The yearning to live fearless. AHHHH! The more I know God my Father, the more I yearn for those children to know they have a Father who loves them. The more I yearn to tell the homeless blind lady on the side of a dirt street who has no name....I love you...God loves you....You are worth being loved. It's so overwhelming...I cannot speak enough words to explain it all.

    I said it out loud once. "I feel like I'm dying." A wise special friend of ours said, "You are."
    Just now....ha! I realize, I was feeling blah. I felt like everything was at a stand still....but I'm dying:) Why a smiley face? The more I die to myself, the more He can love through me. When people see me, I want them to see Him.
     OHHHHHH!! I yearn and ache so bad to see Mozambique, to see Nepal...to reach out...to take action..and GO!!!!

     Everyone always asks about us and our mission. I hope this helps you understand. God has already spoken aloud, Nepal. We are just waiting for the GO button to be pressed.
   Meanwhile, Josh currently teaches a Bible class at Word of Life Training Center. There, we minister to all sorts of folks inside and outside the training center.:)


   God loves you more than you can imagine. More than you can imagine...
 I'm so glad He loves with a strong steady heart. Thank You Father. I trust You.